Even Mother Mania has come to school. A first. Well, she’s here tonight and kissing her errant son, who grins proudly. At last he’s been witnessed.

Christ, this Christmas run in wears one out. It seems to have been going on since September. Now we have to endure ever more conspicuous consumption, grotesque sentimentality, tacky cant, that bloody John Lewis advert – and the saccharine soft porn of Rocher Ferroro chockies.

“You provide the moment we provide the bliss.” Jesus.

There are few cures. That Pogues’ song. Carols from King’s. But, above all, the school panto, surely the highlight of the school year, a counter cultural celebration of what the school could be, if the buffoons in control got their chill fingers off the drear curriculum. It’s multiculturalism on legs. It works. It’s mixed ability in action and involves the whole school community.

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