As schools enter into the new academic year, new students are being welcomed and encouraged to settle. Aiding this process will be all the important data that has come from children’s previous schools about educational attainment, attendance and SEN: however, one crucial piece of information may be missing.
One in 29 children and young people in the UK have been bereaved of a parent. That’s the equivalent of one in every class. By the age of 16 that figure is one in 20. And while we’re talking facts, my colleagues at the Childhood Bereavement Network (CBN) estimate that around 111 children and young people are bereaved of a parent every single day. Many more will be bereaved of a sibling, a grandparent or a friend.
It is worth bearing in mind that some of your new pupils will be facing the challenges of a new school without the parent who would be helping them with these experiences. And experiences such as buying a new school uniform or going home after the first day only underline the fact that mum or dad is not there anymore.
At the young person’s previous school, it is likely that everyone knew about their mum, dad, brother or sister. They probably also knew the person who died as someone who appeared in the playground, or at school events. At this new school, no-one knows what happened: and to answer questions from fellow students such as “what does your mum do?” with “she died...” is inevitably going to mark a young person out as different from the beginning.
For some children, a family death brings other changes. They may have left their previous home and school to move closer to grandparents, for example. The young person will have lost not only the person who died, but their home, their old bedroom, their den in the garden, their school, their corner of the playground, their old school friends – and maybe their football or youth club.
School transfer time can also be particularly challenging for young people when someone in their family is seriously ill. Their worry may make it hard for them to concentrate, reluctant to leave the person, and anxious if not in contact.
CBN colleagues have been thinking about the role that schools can play in supporting bereaved children and young people who are transferring to new schools. If you have a close relationship with feeder and other schools, you may already know what has happened or is happening. In this case, the child or young person will appreciate you letting them know that you are aware. Something as simple as: “I heard about your dad; sorry to hear that. If you ever want a word, come and find me.”
Knowing what has happened can help all staff be sensitive around, for example, Father’s Day, or when the curriculum (e.g. English literature texts) involves death and dying, and to be aware of the anniversary of the person’s death. The new school year is also the chance to check that the school’s bereavement policy is up-to-date in case of a death affecting the school community – a parent or sibling of a student, a student, or a teacher. There is a growing network of child bereavement services and you can find a directory on the CBN website.
These local services work on an individual or group basis with bereaved young people and can support staff to, in turn, support their students. Some of these organisations also offer training to teachers and an e-learning package is available.
- Anna Feuchtwang is chief executive of the National Children’s Bureau. Visit www.ncb.org.uk
Further information
For support, including sample bereavement policies, visit www.childhoodbereavementnetwork.org.uk or via Twitter @CBNtweets.