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At the chalkface: Get happy

As you wend your way through the early morning murk, traumas of the festive season dimming, resolutions fading like action plans, towards yet another of those riveting New Year Briefings, does your morale feel less than perky?

Well, it’s meant to. That’s the plan. The Fat Controller is working on it. “If staff morale is at an all-time low, you know you are doing something right,” Sir Macho of Offhead famously told management. Your gloom is his pleasure. Your fear is his control It seems to work.

Teacher morale plummets to new lows. According to a recent YouGov poll, 53 per cent of you are thinking of quitting in the next couple of years – even more in the “Northern Powerhouse”.

Yikes! That’s some achievement. It doesn’t come easy. You know how it goes. High workloads, 90-hour weeks, dim curriculums, tedious spreadsheets, relentless reports, triple-marking, micro-managing, data-checking, infinite testing and endless exams, like next week’s pointless mocks.

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