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At the chalkface: The Worm

Government policy
I no like Mr Worm. He feeds my paranoia. I fear he’s coming to our classrooms, that Ofsted will become an X Factor panel and the pupils a baying mob. The Worm will wriggly-woo every second of the lesson and then vanish under your interactive whiteboard an

Suave suits soft soap you with flannel. Nuanced dialogue is trumped by dog whistle monologue. Thus, on the theme of education, there’s a universal enthusiasm for good schools, much rigour, high standards, firm discipline, and a fierce belief in excellence. As opposed to what? Bad schools, low standards, utter bedlam and a fierce belief in mediocrity? These debates make Question Time seem like an advanced Greek Symposium. It’s where thinking goes to die.

But there’s something else, something worse. It’s called “The Worm”.

You’ve probably seen it. While debates drone on, a cross-section of the general public – and most are pretty cross – is hunkered down in something called a spin bunker pressing gizmos like my crazed 8th years playing Grand Theft Auto.

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